Lack of sleep increases your risk of developing postpartum mood disorders and makes every aspect of daily life more challenging. The early months (and years) with your baby can be very demanding and it’s difficult to care for your baby when you’re exhausted!

Having an arsenal of tools and tricks to help calm your baby to sleep is essential for you and your baby to get some much-needed rest!

The Doula’s Advice

Be gentle and compassionate with yourself if sleep doesn't go as planned.

Avoid forcing your baby into a predetermined sleep mold; instead, follow their cues and adapt to what works for both of you.

Stay flexible and adapt to your circumstances.

Don't hesitate to ask for and accept help from family, friends, or hired assistance!

Parent Sleep Support

People love to tell you to sleep when your baby is sleeping, but they don't tell you how to do that!

It's harder than it might seem to just go to sleep when your baby does. While your baby is awake, you're occupied with feeding them, your own care needs, and other responsibilities (and people) that need your attention. By the time your baby is ready to snooze, you might realize you haven't eaten, drunk water, or taken a bathroom break in several hours!

Set yourself up for sleep success with these helpful tips:

Set boundaries around visitors and communications. They can wait, you need your sleep!
Schedule activities around when your baby typically takes the longest nap of the day so you can be home to catch a few Z's yourself.
Set up for success- try and eat, drink, and use the bathroom before putting your baby to sleep. So when they're off to sleep, you can lay down right away for a nap too.
Wind-down routines help our bodies recognize that it's almost time for sleep so we can fall asleep more efficiently. Keep it simple and consistent with two to three things that you do right before laying down. I.e. go to the bathroom, turn on a fan, then read for a few minutes before drifting off.
Avoid screens at least 30 minutes before laying down for sleep. The blue light they give off is stimulating to our brains, and the content can make us overthink.

Free up space and time by getting the help that you need by whatever means necessary! Ask friends and family for help, request gift cards and meal deliveries on your gift registry, and hire help like a postpartum doula, daycare for older children, or housekeeping services. It's worth your long-term wellness to invest in yourself during this relatively short time of your life!
Take extra good care of your mental wellness. Sometimes our own thoughts are the biggest thing getting in the way of restful sleep. Counseling is a safe and helpful space to process your birth experience, overcome mood disorders, and guide you through transitioning to life with your baby.

Bed Sharing

About half of all parents say they bring their babies into the family bed for all or part of the night.

Most of us have very good intentions of starting our baby out with safe sleep habits in their cribs, but life doesn't usually unfold the way we plan so it's important to know your backup options.

Bed sharing is the act of sharing the same sleep surface with your baby. It differs from co-sleeping which is sharing a room or sleeping in close proximity but on separate sleep surfaces.

Safe Bed Sharing:

Baby’s arms should be unrestrained. Do NOT swaddle your baby when bedsharing.

No pillows, blankets, or stuffed animals near their heads.
The bed should be away from the wall to prevent your baby from rolling and becoming trapped between the bed and the wall. Including head and footboards that may have an unsafe gap. A mattress on the floor in the middle of the room is ideal.
Use light blankets, no heavy comforters, only up to babies waist/chest. Warm jammies and sleep sacks help reduce the need for blankets.
Do not sleep on couches, recliners, waterbeds, etc because infants can easily become wedged and trapped. All are far more dangerous than safe bed-sharing.
After baby nurses while in bed, make sure they roll onto their back when the feeding is over.

Sometimes it just makes sense to bring your baby into your bed.

It’s more convenient for a breastfed baby to be in close proximity to their nutrition and comfort source! If you choose to bring your baby into your bed, the precautions above should be in place to keep everyone safe.

Sleepy Baby Recipes

Ease The Transition

After being snug in the womb for nine months, babies can benefit from creating a similar sleep environment. Dr. Harvey Karp's five S's—swaddling, side or stomach position while holding, shushing sounds, swinging, and sucking—help mimic the womb. Keep in mind that each baby responds differently to sleep techniques. Some dislike swaddling, while others find it essential. Preferences vary for pacifiers and nursing/breastfeeding as well. Some babies enjoy dancing and swaying, while others prefer the steady motion of a rocking chair.

Day-Night Rhythms

To establish a consistent daily rhythm and prevent "night/day confusion," maintain your regular routines regardless of your baby's sleep patterns. In the mornings and during daytime naps, stick to your usual light and noise levels, even if it wakes your baby. This helps them stay awake more during the day.

For nighttime, establish a simple and consistent bedtime routine with your baby. If your baby is awake at night, keep the lights dim or off, maintain a quiet and calm environment, and minimize interaction. These actions help your baby's body distinguish between night and day.

Putting Baby Down

When babies fall asleep they enter active sleep which looks like eyelid fluttering, hand twitching, and facial expressions like smiling or frowning. After about 20-25 minutes, they transition into a quiet sleep phase with rhythmic and steady breathing, and fewer muscle movements. Some babies will "dream nurse," where they make sucking movements without waking up. This phase also lasts around 25 minutes before they may wake up or enter active sleep again.

To maximize the chances of a successful transfer, move your baby to a sleeping area when they are in the quiet sleep phase since they are less likely to wake up during this time.

Sleep Cues

Your baby will let you know they're getting sleepy with cues, but they can be easily missed or mistaken as something else. Catching them can make it easier to help your baby fall asleep and sets everyone up for healthy sleep habits.

These early sleep cues are; big yawns, rubbing eyes or ears, opening and closing hands, averting their eyes to stimulus, and becoming more still. When you notice these signs, begin your sleep routines to prevent your baby from becoming overtired and harder to settle.

Switch It Up

You may discover that certain techniques help your baby to fall asleep, so naturally you'll want to repeat them over and over. However, you may find that it only works for a while before losing its magic.

Infants are learning and absorbing their surroundings at exponential rates. Once they become accustomed to a technique or method they’ll quickly lose interest.

Exploring new and different routines or tricks will expose them to different experiences and help you get them to sleep easier. If bouncing stopped working, for example, then try walking or dancing instead. If the sound of running water stopped working then try a fan or nature sounds instead.

Infant Massage

As part of your bedtime routine, or when your baby is having trouble settling down, try giving them a head-to-toe gentle, slow massage. Work from their head down and out their limbs in long strokes. Talk or sing to your baby while you do. This loving ritual is a simple and easy way to connect with and calm your baby.

Just Add Nature

Nature is the best medicine. Adding in nature looks like; a nice warm bath, spending time outside, watching the trees in the wind, or laying out on the grass. Skin-to-skin is another of nature's calming mechanisms, plenty of skin time with a caregiver is SO soothing to your baby’s nervous system!

Lavender Scent

The smell of lavender is very calming and relaxing. You can use lavender-scented products in your bedtime routines to help relax your baby. Please be cautious using essential oils around babies and know their safety for newborns by consulting a certified aromatherapist prior to use. For oil extracts, it's advisable to use a small amount of it in carrier oil, like coconut oil, and rub it on the bottom of your baby's feet. Or use it in a diffuser during your bedtime routine. Other smells like cedar wood and vetiver can also promote rest and sleep.

Sleep Sacks & Swaddles

Let’s be real, it’s way more convenient to use sleep sacks and zip-up swaddle sacks over the traditional blanket wrap method. Not only is it faster to do but it stays on your baby way better. Some babies respond well to certain styles over others, many seem to like the love to dream swaddle-up, halo sleep sacks, and zipadee-zip sacks.

For your and your baby’s long-term wellness, always seek support if you're struggling. Getting support now will help you handle what comes your way next.

This phase of life can be very challenging, but it won't last forever, and just because it's a challenging time in life doesn't mean you have to suffer through it.

You're worth investing in!

Written By: Hayley Shea Kocinski, Doula & Photographer

Sleep Resources & References